I taught myself some tricks really early on in life that allowed me to memorize sets of information and strings of communication, and hold onto them for longer than most people would try. These tricks, along with my uber-over-achiever attitude, have been at the root of much of the success I have experienced in my academic and professional lives. (Not to toot, but…) Many along the way have expressed envy in this ability and I have even spent a fair amount of time teaching others some of the mnemonic strategies that work for me.

Today, I’d like to tell you about the other side of this seemingly shiny coin.

An obvious yet inescapably torturous fact of life for those with advanced memory skills is that they remember things…. and not always the things they want to remember.

I’ll bet you can’t guess who I spend about half of every day thinking about, can you? I’ll tell you: Flashing through my head, on and off for the better part of each day, are the faces of all the people I may have hurt during the course of my life. It’s depressing, really, and pretty unhealthy I’ve decided. On one hand, I think the reflection has been very productive and may even be directly responsible for my now gentle approach to human interaction. On the other hand, I have come to accept that it is borderline(?) obsessive– and maybe even creepy– that I replay the offending scenarios over and again. Stop, rewind, play. Pause, contemplate, play, stop, rewind, play.

I don’t claim to have a photographic memory, but I am often able to remember conversations (for the most part) in their entirety, especially when they are associated with some degree of trauma. Why would I undergo trauma if I wasn’t the one being hurt? A) My parents and mentors were painstaking in their efforts to teach me the difference between right and wrong, and I was painfully aware that my actions were inexcusably wrong; and B) I was indeed hurting myself along with the would-be victims of my inhumane treatment.

The good news is that I have now reconnected with and offered apologies to almost everyone I feel deserves one. How did they react? Most of them had selective memories and as a result had absolutely no clue what I was talking about, which is always a surprise, but reassuring nonetheless.

Next order of business: work on extinguishing my rampant sense of self-importance

Steve

Technorati Tags: human_nature, perspective, happiness, learning, self-help, friendship, life-coach, personal

You might expect that the haves are by and large much happier than the have-nots, but you’d be wrong. It turns out that study after study reports that the wealthiest nations exhibit higher rates of suicide, mental illness, and alcoholism (and other intrusive dependencies). This coincides with lower child-birth ratios and greater incidence of estranged families and solitary habitation. This marked move toward going it alone or in any case in smaller numbers strikes me as exactly the reason that most of us living in the lap of luxury just can’t seem to find happiness.

Problem #1: Lack of awareness/Lack of effort

It seems to me that most people aren’t even aware that they ought to be focused on how to achieve, or at least approach, happiness. I don’t know if the concept just seems too simplistic, or if there is perhaps a strong negative stigma attached–don’t want to be one of those happy people–but certainly a good percentage of the population in economically thriving nations are not even playing the game. In fact, I suspect that quite a lot of individuals in (over-)developed countries actually get some cynical satisfaction out of finding reasons to be unhappy, or in any case discontented.

Problem #2: Poor communication

Those who are focused on their problems and (to a lesser extent) how to solve them may find themselves talking over and over about the same recurring issues in their lives. Now these people seem to have avoided the pitfalls of Problem #1, and yet they find themselves caught in a tailspin, trying to fight an uphill battle. What are they doing wrong? First, they’re probably talking to anyone who will listen, rather than taking the time to identify individuals who might actually be able to help them. Second, they are not listening when the good advice comes their way. It’s an odd thing about being unhappy, but a great deal of the little satisfaction we do achieve is in the meticulous process of framing our problems for others. Unfortunately, I find that most people are so caught up with presenting their dilemmas in such a way as to paint themselves as infinitely worthy of pity that they are unprepared to absorb the guidance that is there before them for the taking.

It has occurred to me of late that the failure of most people in first-world countries are generally rooted in one or both of the two problems mentioned above. What’s oddly ironic is that most people fail to correct either of the two problems above, which all-too-often leads to:

Problem #3:  I got it syndrome
This is a numb state of denial that finds a person spending the better part of her/his adult life pretending to have it (at least mostly) together, tragically preempting the possibility of seeking much needed guidance and support from loved ones and perpetuating the effects of Problem #2.

This I’m a grown-up so I don’t need help from anyone attitude is at the heart of what keeps us isolated and unequipped to achieve true happiness. It’s actually a predictable consequence of the This is a free country and I’ll do as I please attitude, so it’s not terribly surprising in the U.S. and other regions where self-assertion of liberty is the norm.

Not to get all All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten on you, but isn’t this the first thing we are taught about successful interaction with others? Learn to play nice and share. Truth be told: we’d plop our kids in front of a specialist immediately if they exhibited even half the self-alienating, anti-social behavior that we adults do.

My unqualified, unsolicited advice:

Talk to the people who love you about how you might reach greater life fulfilment and what seems to be tripping you up. If you don’t feel you can approach your loved ones or others who might be able to help, fix the situation. Nothing is more important. After all, your happiness–indeed, your livelihood–depend on it.

No one has their sights set on losing the game of life, but that’s exactly what’s in store for anyone not working toward sustainable happiness.

Get on it.

Him: It’s really hot today.

Me: I know. Isn’t it gross? What do you do to stay cool.

Him: I put wind chimes by the window. That makes Japanese people feel cool.

Me: Only Japanese people, huh?

Him: Yeah. I mean, I don’t know if it makes non-Japanese feel cool, because…because I’m Japanese. How ’bout you? What do you do to stay cool?

Me: Recently, I’ve been drinking a lot of water. We have it delivered to our apartment every month.

Him: I heard that’s bad for your health.

Me: Really? Drinking water?

Him: Yes, because I heard it makes you feel full and then you won’t eat enough.

Me: I don’t seem to be having that problem.

Him: Oh…right.

(awkward silence, followed by big laughs from both of us)

Technorati Tags: comedy, friendship, teaching, japan, health, humor

During a recent trip to the states, I was lucky enough to have some down time to kick it with Rafael, who’s been my best friend since junior high. I mean, we always hang out when I’m in LA, but this time we spent almost the whole week drivin’ around, runnin’ errands and chewin’ the fat. I don’t even think of Rafa as a friend, he’s more like a brother. Seriously. Needless to say, it never takes long before we are clowning on each other and laughing at all the whackiness that life brings our way.

At the discount drugstore….

So a couple days before Christmas, we stopped at the local CVS (used to be Sav-On Drugs), so I could pick up some amenities–anti-perspirant/deodorant, Pepcid, cold medicine– not easily obtained in the land of little people who don’t sweat and don’t mind sitting in hospital waiting rooms to get their hands on even the mildest of medications. I found what I needed pretty quickly, but Rafa had gotten himself into a conversation with the manager, so I left him to it while I went to pay for the goods.

Fast forward 20 minutes of waiting in line for what had to be the slowest pair of cashiers on the planet. I finally got all my items paid for and bagged and I wanted nothing more than to get away from that droning music and over-abundance of over-cheap, over-marketed, over-packaged inventory. So I turn back to where Rafa was shootin the shit with the store manager…not there. So I start mumbling to myself “How you gonna make me walk all over this store again, just to try and find your sorry ass?” as I looked up and down the very long, very crowded aisles.

Rafa has a running back’s build and was sporting a (red) hooded USC sweatshirt, so he was pretty easy to spot, despite being crouched down at the far end of one of the aisles. So as I rolled up behind him and said “Rafa, let’s get up outta here.” No answer, just continued looking intently at one package, then another from the rack on the bottom shelf.

Trying to gather my patience, I decided that it must be something important and, after all, he _had_ been waiting for me for like half an hour. So I crept up closer and caught a glimpse of the package, which read “Dr. Scholl’s Freeze Remover…” I blurted out in a big voice–with the courtesy and tact reserved only for brothers– “Ah DUDE, you gotta WART?!?”

He turned around and two things were suddenly clear: 1) he did indeed have a wart, and 2) he was………not Rafa.

Doh!!

Only then did I realize that I hadn’t even bothered to look closely at his head, which was bald like Rafa’s, but not as clean cut, or his sweatshirt, which was red like Rafa’s, but not Trojan red.

Luckily, my victim of inadvertent public shaming was as embarrassed as I was, and hadn’t moved on to anger yet. As we both just wanted the episode to be over as quickly as possible, we had this surreal moment of mutual understanding that you just can’t expect to experience at the local drugstore. Apologizing and bowing profusely (he was of Asian decent too), I began my long, hurried, backward retreat down the aisle from whence I came.

Rafa had been waiting outside all along. After we got in the car, I told him the story. We both coughed and cried, and I nearly wet myself. We then took turns telling the story to everyone we encountered for the rest of my trip, never failing to squeeze a good chuckle out of it.

Good times.

My answer is: yes and no, but mostly no.

Why “Yes?”

It’s a fact of the matter that almost every Japanese citizen worries that their language and culture are being diluted over time. The concern is justified, but only in the trivially true sense that dates back to the Meiji Restoration, when Japan opened its borders to world travel, trade and influence. Even before the end of sakoku (seclusion), Japan flourished with trade from abroad, but from limited sources and with very little direct contact between foreigners and Japanese lay folk. When the 200+ year policy of maritime restrictions were lifted, there was no question that the country risked compromising its rich, relatively self-contained culture–including its language–but the trade-off seemed worth the risk to most. After all, the world outside the Japanese archipelago was developing rapidly and it would have been difficult to argue against the benefits of shared knowledge and resources, especially given steam engine technology and vast military power emerging in other parts of the world.

Thus, I would argue that the slow erosion of traditional modes of communication we see today, and the accompanying concern, are the direct result of policy decisions made 130+ years ago to embrace (or accept anyway) foreign influence.

Why “No?”

Languages are, by nature, in a constant state of flux. Rules are only more or less observed according to convention and convenience of the speakers/writers of a given language. New words are born everyday, and old words die out. Grammatical rules we once thought sacred are easily replaced by crude variations as determined by the user tendencies.

Loanwords are no exception, and there is not much to be gained by disapproving of them. Newly integrated loanwords will stick where they are convenient and do the job of painting the desired picture. Otherwise, they join the vernacular for only a select few who find them useful. Not much cause for concern there.

Predictability……

Language has a steady history of getting dumbed down to the lowest common denominator in any given group, so the prospect of Japanese people becoming largely unable to communicate with one another seems highly unlikely. If communication skills such as circumlocution (rephrasing) are lacking, it’s certainly not a garaigo problem, as the goal of rephrasing is to explain a term or concept in simple terms that can be understood by the listener/reader, with the added effect of proliferating understanding of new vocabulary, garaigo or not.

People use words unknown to their interlocutors–intentionally or otherwise–all the time. Communication breakdowns occur only when the speaker is communicating over the listener’s head, or the listener is too embarrassed, or can’t be bothered, to ask for clarification.

Gotta run.

Here’s the original article.

To Jason: Thanks for the tip, and sorry for the very long delay.

The concept is truly ingenious in its simplicity. During a three month period (Oct 1st-December 25th), Kyoto City dresses up the town, literally, leveraging its most cherished and attractive resource: the traditional garb of its people. How is this achieved? Merchants are encouraged to advertise and offer modest discounts–sometimes as little as 100円 (roughly $1) off per purchase– in the “Kimono Passport.”  With broad support from government agencies operating museums, national heritage sites, and public transit, this campaign was a winner before the first private vendor was approached.

It appears that this campaign has been held annually for about 10 or 12 years.  Some vendors extend the discounts throughout the year.

Here’s some info from the Kyoto Prefectural International Center:

This year “Kyoto Looks Good in a Kimono”
Next month, Kyoto is continuing its promotion to encourage people to wear a kimono when they are out in the city. Those who are wearing a kimono and present a “kimono passport” will receive special discounts and offers.
- Participating temples, shrines, art galleries, museums, shops, and restaurants in Kyoto city, Uji city, and Yawata city will be offering discounts.
- You can get your kimono passport, as well as receive information related to kimono rental, traditional local and Japanese fall events, at the Tourist Information Center in Kyoto station or any Kyoto prefecture Regional Promotion Bureau.
- Passports are valid form October 1st until December 25th
- For more information contact Kyoto Prefecture Fabric Dyeing and Handicrafts Office at 075-414-4856

(image from mobilegazette.com)

Apple’s iPhone is finally coming to Japan next month (3G, July 11th), and NTT Docomo (about 50% market share) is about to lose a whole lot of customers to newcomer Softbank who has negotiated a deal to carry the 3G iPhone. Interestingly, neither Softbank nor Apple mentioned any exclusivity clauses, so it may very well be that Apple is doing a bit of posturing with this move to convince Docomo to agree to it’s exorbitant licensing agreement–Exhibit A: “How to call the prideful negotiator’s bluff.” If Docomo caves in eventually, they will have lost quite a few subscribers, mostly for good, all for no good reason. More importantly, they will lose their image of unchallenged market dominance, which is incredibly careless IMHO.

This release is really going to shake things up in Japan’s mobile market. Anyone who says that Japanese consumers already have better phones just doesn’t know what they are talking about. Trust me. I teach teenagers and adults every day, so I see a lot of phones. There’s nothing on the market that comes close to wowing like the iPhone.

Yesterday, I spent all my remaining Docomo points–which got me a Nintendo DS Lite for the wifeypoo, so as to soften the blow that I am changing carriers!–and started processing the phone number mobility forms to switch to Softbank.

Docomo blew it years ago with their decision to offer robust smart phone models only to corporate clients (they have a few limited Blackberry models). And they are blowing it again by allowing Softbank to gain traction in the market when they clearly had the opportunity to slam the door on all competition with the iPhone deal.

(Cross-posted in the comments at Graceful Flavor)

Just click the photo and press the play icon [on the British Council podcast site].

I have to say I am pretty stoked that David Graddol will be one of the PAC7 at JALT2008 plenary speakers this November in Tokyo. He will be sponsored by the British Council, thanks to my buddy Alan Mackenzie of BC, Thailand, who I was able to bring onto the committee as one of this year’s conference chairs.

Alan was one of my mentors when I first got involved in ELT and it’s very cool to still be finding ways to work together, even long after his departure from Japan. It’s really amazing how much ground he and I can cover in a few late nights of heavy beer consumption once every year or so, usually somewhere in Thailand around the time of the ThaiTESOL conference. I really relish those times, because we usually coordinate to meet up with my pals Ted, Juanita, and Stacey, too. Oodles and oodles of witty banter.

What strikes me now is that most of the important connections I’ve made in ELT have occurred in similar circumstances during/following teacher gatherings near and far, so I guess I better not stop drinking anytime soon;-) And speaking of excellent friends in language teaching, I just had my mind blown by Tom Merner, and Mayuka Habbick, who were both kind enough to participate in a teacher training seminar I have been organizing. They both knocked the participants’ socks off. Richard Graham of Genki English is coming out this weekend. Nothing like sharing perspectives with the leaders in the field. I really have nothing to complain about these days:-D

Steven

Technorati Tags: language, autonomous_learning, efl, teaching, debate, career, learning, community, economy, history, japan

Creativity is always important, in work and in play, and in being a Japanese aquarium attraction with nothing better to do.

[via Pink Tentacle]

Human Slingshot

[via Nico’s]

I totally used to be that guy, talking people into doing (completely awesome) stuff they probably shouldn’t be doing. Ah maturity: YOU are the bane of my existence.