Reality on a Stick

My brother surprised me several years ago with a gesture that will always be among the proudest gifts I have received: he asked me to be his Best Man at his wedding. After he explained his reasons–basically that friends drift in and out of our lives, but only our siblings are constant and forever–I knew that I would return that confidence when it was time for me to get married.

Recently, my brother sent me a copy of his Best Man speech, to make sure it got archived, and because it’s always difficult for the recipient to recall the choice words that are said at such a busy event.

Brian had caught me by surprise once again. You see, the thing is: I had never written my speech down. It’s just that I recognized a long time ago that I speak much more smoothly and naturally when I improvise, so I’ve since tried not to prepare much. Well, this little habit of mine had put me in quite a bind, because I wanted nothing more than to reciprocate my brother’s openness and generosity, but I didn’t have a speech to give him.

Fortunately, I like a good challenge. I immediately sat down in front of the computer and closed my eyes, focusing on the flow of words and phrases that came out of my mouth that day back in 2004. Before I knew it, the stories and transitions and long pauses all came rushing back to me,  and I suddenly found that I had reproduced the whole speech, almost verbatim.

Here are our Best Man speeches for you all to enjoy, one after the other, and in the order in which they were given.

Happy reading………

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Steve’s Best Man Speech - October 2, 2004
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In case anyone here doesn’t know me: I am Brian’s younger brother, Steve,
and I am currently living in Japan.

So, how many of you have brothers or sisters?

OK good, most of you then.

Well Brian is my older brother–he’s 4 years older than me–and many of you
with older siblings can probably relate, but: growing up, all I ever wanted
was to be able to beat my big brother in something, _anything_. And that was
pretty much my mission through most of our childhood…just trying to beat
Brian in a game or fight or whatever. And that trying over and over to win
made me a pretty tough kid, though I have to say I still can’t beat my
brother in anything;-)

And then Brian hit adolescence and he grew tired of our silly little
games–well _my_ silly little games anyway–and there was sort of a long
period in which Brian and I didn’t really talk much ’cause he was all cool
and had lots of new friends and I was just his annoying, tattletale little
brother (who was _still_ trying to beat him!). And that distance between us
remained basically until I graduated high school and moved away to college
and actually started to grow up. Since then, we have just grown closer and
closer every year, and _now_ Brian is truly my best friend in the world. I
know that I can talk to him about anything, anytime and that he’s always
there, and that just means so much to me.

But through it all, there was one thing that always bothered me when I
thought about my brother, and that was: How in the world is Brian ever going
to find a girl who can see what a phenomenal guy he is?–And I was genuinely
worried about this for several years!–And then one day a couple of years
ago, he introduced me to Jen, and I saw what a gorgeous, intelligent, warm,
and caring person she was, and I saw that she brought out all of the
absolute best qualities in my brother–and my family will always be indebted
to her for that.

So then my worry changed to: Alright, how can we keep Brian from blowing
this one! And now, here we are _at long last_. After more than 2 years of
my worrying and stress and plenty of unsolicited advice, here we are
gathered for their big day! And I know that we’re supposed to be here to
celebrate the marriage and pay our respects to Brian and Jen, but if anyone
would like to congratulate ME on GETTING THIS MONKEY OFF MY BACK…please
don’t hesitate;-)

So now if everyone could raise their glasses: to Brian and Jen, you are two
bright shining stars in each of our lives, and we cannot wait to share with
you all of the joy and happiness that awaits you in marriage. Cheers!
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Brian’s Best Man Speech - October 7, 2006
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“Hello, my name is Brian. I am Steven’s older Brother. I am very lucky to have a sibling that is also my good friend. I can honestly say that Steve is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He is genuine, caring, funny and brilliant. He is extremely generous and he makes a positive impact on everyone in his life.  In short, he’s the total package and I’m proud to be his brother.

Today is one of the happiest days of my life because I get to see my brother marry his best friend. When my family first met Motoko, we fell in love with her instantly. The way her smile lights up a room, her engaging personality, great sense of humor and her stunning beauty made it easy to see how she had won my bother’s heart. I have never seen Steven so happy as he has been these past few years with Motoko.

The easy way in which they interact and the respect that they have for one another makes me certain that the years ahead will be filled with much laughter and love. Family is very important and I want to welcome my new sister in law into our family and let her know that she couldn’t have picked a better person to spend the rest of her life with than Steven. Please join me in congratulating Steve and Motoko on a happy marriage filled with love.”
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Stay up, and be good to each other.

Much love,
Steven

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